Catnip Is For LosersOne Cat`s Viewpoint

I went to see my doctor a couple of days ago for my booster shots. The Human nurse (I will call her `The Nurse With the Cold Thermometer`) checked my temp, with no warning, right there in front of God and everybody. A word of advice to the Nurse With the Cold Thermometer– how about running a little warm water over that thing first? A heat lamp… bunsen burner… something!

Then the doc– a dude this time– poked and prodded and squeezed until I was about to puke.

Just my luck… it is “Pet Dental Month” at the Eastside Animal Medical Center. Apparently, I have Cat Gingivitis. The doc said that it could account for my exceptionally bad breath which, I admit, has really been hummin’ lately. It has been so bad at times, the Big Guy thought that I had bad gas. And while I do let a little noxious indiscretion slip occasionally, my breath has been kickin’.

So the Big Guy has been jamming pills down my throat every morning and evening in the hopes that the meds will clear up my rotting gums. I go back in a week for a check-up.

This is too much drama for a youngster like me. Apparently, the condition can be genetic, which might explain why my brother and sister have also been polluting the atmosphere with every breath, I hear.

On a positive note, I gained a little over a pound since my first vet visit. Life is good. Time for a nap.

If you parked your furry rear end in front of the TV last evening for my acting debut, you already know that my award-winning performance fell victim to the censors. The Big Guy got plenty of air time, but I was nowhere to be seen.

I could brood about the Man keeping the feline down, but I won’t… even though I did overcome a bit of depression by taking a long nap.

Fame is like a bad itch… so elusive.

On a more positive note, I have decided to name my newest Human “The Girl Who Sleeps.” I swear, she has got to be part cat. Or a relative, ’cause that sister can snooze.

… that is, as long as I don’t end up “on the cutting room floor,” as they say.

The Big Guy was interviewed right in his office by a reporter for WSB-TV Channel 2. It was about something really important, although I don’t remember what it was and I don’t really care.

What is important, however, is that the camera guy got some great action shots of me walking on the desk; chasing the little bug that runs around on the computer screen; climbing up the Big Guy’s leg…

Being a television star is exhausting business. I need a nap.  The Big Guy will probably post a clip of my performance later, so check back.

A wise cat once said, “Meow.” Okay, just joking. A wiser cat once awoke from a nap and said, “You gotta adapt.” I don’t know what it means, but it sounds smart. It’s kinda like, “If you snooze, you lose,” only without the rhyme.

Anyway, I quickly discovered that the top of a computer monitor is a great place to take a nap. Those things give off the heat! I have enjoyed many a dream-filled repose since I discovered the top side of the Dell M991.

In fact, I have become a bit of a monitor connoisseur. Rule #1 — stay away from flat panels; you can get hurt. Permanent wedgy, I tell you. Rule #2 — get a grip. I tend to move a lot in my sleep; on a 8-inch-wide perch with a 10-degree downslope, I find myself on the floor or wedged between the wall and the credenza quite often.

Rule #3 — don’t overdo it. With triple-digit temps and after hours of snuggly goodness, I occasionally find my nethery regions singed and in need of a soothing salve. Too much of a good thing is… well, good; but you know what I mean. Employ some “monitor moderation;” at least, until you build up your tolerance.

Time for a nap.

I know that I haven’t posted in a while… I have been feeling a little under the weather. I have another vet appointment next week, but I am already feeling better.

The new Human is working out just fine. I guess if she’s going to stay, I need to give her a name. I will have to think about it for a while; she’s an odd one.

Back to sleep.

There’s a new Human coming to stay with us for a while. Nobody asked me first, but she seems okay. We’ll see how it goes. I just don’t want the situation to get out of hand… too many Humans can be a really bad thing.

On a positive note, the Big Guy moved his office to free up some space for the new Human. I insisted on a spot up high with a view of the outdoors. I don’t get out much, but it’s essential to keep up with what’s going on.

Here’s a pic of me in my new spot. It’s nice, but I may need a heating pad. It’s gonna be a cold winter, I hear.